In a joint press conference held at Mar-a-Lago—because where else?—the two unlikely allies announced that the time had come for transparency, and that they, of all people, were going to deliver it. Clad in his signature red MAGA hat, Trump spoke first.

“You know, I’ve seen a lot of things in my time. I’ve seen fake news, witch hunts, and total disasters,” Trump began. “But this? This Epstein thing? It’s the real deal. It’s huge, folks, believe me. And Elon here,” he motioned to Musk, who stood smirking with his hands in his pockets, “he’s got the tech, the vision, and the guts to get it done.”

Musk, who had remained relatively quiet during Trump’s usual bombastic speech, stepped up to the microphone with his trademark deadpan expression. “We live in a world of secrets, manipulation, and cover-ups,” Musk said in a voice that almost sounded bored. “But we also live in a world of technology and truth. So, I’ve decided to use my resources and platforms to expose this once and for all.”

The crowd erupted into applause as Musk revealed his plan to leverage Twitter—well, X, as it’s now called—and other digital means to bring the Epstein client list into the light.

The partnership between Trump and Musk had been rumored for some time, but no one quite expected it to materialize in such an explosive way. Musk, typically known for launching rockets into space and occasionally derailing Twitter threads, is now putting his tech genius to work for what he says is a “moral mission.”

“I didn’t come to this decision lightly,” Musk explained. “But after seeing so many powerful people remain untouched, I realized the only way to make a difference was to make it public. There are people on that list who have been getting away with… well, you know, a lot.”

Trump, of course, seized the opportunity to echo Musk’s sentiments while making sure to keep the spotlight on himself. “When I’m back in office—and I will be back in office—we’re going to drain the swamp like never before. And believe me, when this list comes out, you’ll see who’s really been in that swamp. Hint: it’s not me.”

For the record, both men claim they are “absolutely not” on the list, despite the numerous questions from journalists during the Q&A segment of the event. Musk responded with his usual cryptic flair: “Let’s just say, if I were on that list, I wouldn’t be standing here right now.”

Since the death of Jeffrey Epstein, the client list associated with his illicit dealings has been the subject of countless conspiracy theories. Many have speculated that the list includes some of the most powerful individuals in the world—celebrities, politicians, and business leaders, all intertwined in the darkest corners of global society.

By Musk and Trump teaming up to release this list, the Internet is already buzzing with anticipation, confusion, and, let’s be honest, a fair amount of memes. Reddit forums are ablaze with theories about which high-profile names might appear, and Twitter users are relentlessly refreshing Musk’s feed for any hints about the upcoming reveal.

However, it’s not all excitement. There’s also a considerable amount of fear in certain elite circles. Rumors have surfaced that several Hollywood stars have been hastily canceling projects and going on “extended vacations,” while a handful of world leaders have issued cryptic statements about “protecting the privacy of all individuals.”

Not everyone is celebrating Musk and Trump’s announcement. Critics have been quick to question the legitimacy of their motives, claiming that the pair may have ulterior goals. Some have even accused them of using the client list as a distraction from their own controversies.

“It’s convenient timing, isn’t it?” remarked one political analyst. “Trump is dealing with legal issues, Musk is trying to stabilize Twitter after his wild takeover, and now, all of a sudden, they’re the champions of justice? It smells fishy.”

Some media outlets have even hinted that the list might not be as explosive as it seems. “What if it’s a big letdown?” wrote a columnist. “We’ve been waiting for years for this list, and what if it’s just a few D-list celebrities and corporate executives we’ve never heard of?”

In true Musk fashion, the tech titan promised a “massive digital event” for the unveiling. “We’re going to livestream it, and it will break the Internet,” Musk said, adding that he’s already in talks with major streaming platforms to broadcast the momentous occasion.

Trump, always one to throw in some theatrical flair, teased that he might make a cameo appearance on the livestream. “Maybe I’ll drop in,” he grinned. “People love when I drop in.”

The announcement of the livestream has, of course, fueled the public’s anticipation even further. Social media has been buzzing with speculation on what the release event will look like, with some imagining it as a virtual trial, complete with Musk as the stern judge and Trump as the outspoken prosecutor. Others are picturing a reality-show-style reveal, where names are pulled from an envelope one by one, accompanied by dramatic music.

Regardless of how the list is released, one thing is certain: the world is watching. If Musk and Trump follow through on their promise, the Epstein client list could be one of the most sensational documents ever made public. Will it bring justice? Or will it simply ignite a firestorm of controversy and speculation?

In their final words at the press conference, Musk and Trump made it clear that they weren’t backing down. “We’re doing this for the people,” Musk said, looking directly into the cameras. “Because the truth is the most powerful weapon we have.”

Trump, always a showman, wrapped things up with a flourish: “When this comes out, you’ll see the real swamp. And trust me, folks—it’s going to be HUGE.”

Whether or not the release of the Epstein client list will live up to the hype remains to be seen. But one thing’s for sure: Musk and Trump know how to keep the world talking.