Allen and Barr, who had planned to co-create a series that would serve as a middle finger to political correctness, identity politics, and all things “woke,” have walked away from the project, citing ABC’s “overreach” in trying to fact-check the debate and, more importantly, “appease the woke mob.” Their decision has sent ripples through Hollywood, but it’s the audience—particularly the legions of non-woke warriors across America—that are really feeling the burn.

The show, tentatively titled America Uncanceled, was supposed to be the next big thing for ABC. Tapping into the simmering resentment of the cultural and political elite, Allen and Barr envisioned a sitcom that tackled controversial topics like cancel culture, the erosion of free speech, and the supposed tyranny of vegan-friendly food options. It was to be a comedic safe space for those who felt stifled by political correctness, where jokes about snowflakes and virtue-signaling could flow freely without fear of online mobs demanding apologies.

And it wasn’t just the subject matter that had people talking. The casting alone was a conservative fever dream—Tim Allen, who has never been shy about his political views, and Roseanne Barr, the queen of controversy herself, fresh from her own comeback attempts post-scandal. Together, they were ready to take on the “woke agenda,” armed with punchlines about participation trophies and triggered liberals.

But that dream died faster than ABC’s ratings during the Trump-Harris debate.

ABC’s now-infamous hosting of the Trump-Harris debate was supposed to be a ratings bonanza, but what it turned into was a political lightning rod. With moderators fact-checking Trump in real-time and seemingly giving Harris a free pass, half of America was up in arms. While some praised the network for “standing up for the truth,” others saw it as a blatant attack on free speech—especially Trump’s.

Tim Allen, never one to mince words when it comes to his disdain for “media bias,” was reportedly watching the debate unfold from his man cave, a custom-built shrine to tools, muscle cars, and outdated gender roles. As the moderators corrected Trump’s claims about “Democrats executing babies after birth” and “immigrants eating Ohio pets,” Allen’s frustration grew.

Roseanne Barr, meanwhile, had her own issues with ABC’s approach. After being booted from her own revival of Roseanne for a controversial tweet, Barr has always harbored resentment toward the network’s apparent double standards. “They fact-checked Trump like he was reading off the back of a cereal box,” she said, “but Kamala could’ve said the moon was made of tofu, and they’d have nodded along.”

After the debate, social media exploded with calls for ABC to apologize to Trump and his supporters. But ABC doubled down, defending their decision to fact-check as part of their journalistic duty. That was enough for Allen and Barr to walk.

Following the Trump-Harris debacle, Tim Allen and Roseanne Barr released a joint statement, confirming they were canceling their show with ABC and explaining why. In typical no-nonsense fashion, Allen opened with, “ABC has lost its credibility. If they can’t even host a fair debate without turning it into a fact-checking circus, what hope is there for honest entertainment?”

Barr added, “I got kicked off my own show for a joke. Meanwhile, ABC’s out here giving Kamala Harris a free pass while fact-checking everything Trump says. Where’s the fairness in that? We’re not going to work with a network that bends over backward for the woke agenda and pretends it’s journalism.”

The statement quickly went viral, with conservative media hailing the pair as champions of free speech and anti-woke warriors. It wasn’t long before #ABCisOverParty was trending, with fans of Allen and Barr vowing to boycott the network. And for once, it wasn’t about a sitcom—it was about a culture war.

It’s safe to say that ABC is feeling the sting. The network had pinned high hopes on America Uncanceled as a way to win back conservative viewers who felt alienated by Hollywood’s progressive leanings. But now, with Allen and Barr pulling out, ABC is left holding an empty promise and facing the wrath of a growing anti-woke movement.

Insiders say that ABC executives are privately reeling from the decision, knowing that they’ve lost a show with major potential to attract a broader audience. “We thought we were balancing the scales,” said one anonymous exec. “We had The Conners for our progressive viewers, and we were banking on Tim and Roseanne to give us the other side. Now, we’re left with neither.”

As for what ABC might do next, sources suggest that the network is scrambling to fill the void left by America Uncanceled. Rumors are swirling that they may try to develop another “non-woke” show, but with Allen and Barr out of the picture, finding the right talent may prove impossible. After all, how many high-profile conservatives in Hollywood are still standing?

While ABC is left licking its wounds, Allen and Barr seem unbothered. In fact, the two are reportedly in talks with several other networks and streaming platforms eager to pick up where ABC left off. Fox News, naturally, has already reached out to the duo, hoping to bring them aboard for their new streaming service, Fox Nation. “We know there’s an audience for this kind of show,” a Fox executive said, “and we’re more than happy to give Tim and Roseanne a platform where they can be themselves—without the fact-checkers.”

But Allen and Barr may have even bigger plans. In an era of DIY media, the pair is also considering launching their own platform, where they can control the narrative, unfiltered and uncensored. With their combined star power and a legion of fans ready to tune in, it wouldn’t be surprising if America Uncanceled found a new home—free from the constraints of traditional networks and the “woke mob.”

For now, Tim Allen and Roseanne Barr have drawn a line in the sand, walking away from ABC and setting their sights on a future where their humor and politics can reign free. The cancellation of their show marks another chapter in the ever-evolving culture war, where free speech, cancel culture, and “wokeness” are at the heart of the battle.

As for ABC, they’ve learned the hard way that trying to please everyone can often lead to pleasing no one. And in a world where fact-checking the president can cost you an entire show, it’s clear that the line between news and entertainment is blurrier than ever.

NOTE: This is SATIRE, Not Real News.